iSpeech

A Christian marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman in the presence of God, intended by God for their mutual joy; for help and comfort given to one another.

Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration with family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life partner together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. The rate of divorce today is high and many couples opt out not completing the journey. Most times people refer to high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in their hearts and failing to keep communication lines open.

There is no end to books, seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. Quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage.

According to Matthew 22:37; “Jesus said unto him, thou shalt love thy God and with all thy heart and with all thy soul and with all thy mind”

Verse 39 says; “And the second is like unto it, thou shall love thy neighbor as thy self”

This is what Jesus has said to us and if we abide by it, we will have less marital problems. The minute we begin to focus our own wants, needs, over those of God or our partner; we are destined for trouble. Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say. Feeling bitterness and resentment growing towards your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time? As you begin to do these things, you will notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you, your desires and over to God and your partner. Communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fades away and you naturally want to spend more time together. You can’t expect such changes to happen overnight.

Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, child up bringing challenges and other problems but with God, all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26; Luke 1:37; Mark 9:22, Mark 10:27)

HERE ARE A FEW STEPS TO A HAPPY HOME

End the day with a clean slate: In Ephesians 4:26, the Bible enjoins us not to allow the sun go down on our anger. Make it a goal to clear the air with your spouse especially when there is tension and disagreement.

Not a 50-50: The bible says it is a Man’s responsibility to Love and it’s a woman’s responsibility to submit (Ephesians 5:22). If the husband will commit to love, then it makes it easier for the wife to submit. The beautiful thing about this is, God does not say “a man should love his wife if she will submit or “a woman should submit to her husband if he loves her”. Each spouse’s responsibility is independent of what the other person does.

Keep personal problems personal: Don’t share your marriage problem with co-workers but if it’s a marriage counselor, it’s important to be open and honest. When chatting with friends, you need to guard against negative utterances about your spouse because after you have resolved with your partner, they will still remember those negative words.

Live within your means: Never enter a marriage with the thought of expensive material things, live with the money you have and what you can afford. Don’t struggle to live above your means.

Divorce is not an option. Make a personal commitment with your spouse and to God that you will not consider divorce as an option. Enter the marriage understanding that you are making a solemn vow before God to your spouse that you will stay together until death separates you.

Guard your heart: Protect your eyes, ears, and mind. Men, you need to learn to look away when your eyes are drawn to other women in an inappropriate way. Women, you may hear sweeter words from your co-worker than your husband. Remember to whom you made a promise to love even when times are difficult.

Forget the past: Isn’t it amazing how all of a sudden you remember things from your past that you thought you had forgotten when an argument arises between you and your spouse? Forget the wrong that he or she has done to you in the past and focus on the present and future.

Love one another:  Make a decision to love one another even if your spouse does not deserve your love.

Put God first: Most people will want to protect their marriage and they will say that their spouse is more important than anything, if you put God first at the top of your priority list, he will show you where your emphasis should be at any given time. If God is truly first, then the other priorities will fall in place.

Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s high time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. Some problems are beyond your control, but if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you will also have plenty of fun together along the way.