marital issues

Every couple experiences problems, marriage isn’t easy! At the same time spouse’s skills for dealing with relationship issues determine whether their marriage will overcome these problems or end in divorce. Don’t feel bad if you haven’t figured out how to solve your marital problems yet. Knowing how to fix relationship issues isn’t something you are born with and unfortunately, there are a lot of bad marriage advice out there. You can learn the skills to deal positively and lovingly with the challenges that life throws back at your marriage with the help of God (Proverbs 3:5).  

There are many common problems in married life and a lot of them can be avoided, fixed, or resolved using many different methods and techniques.

Take a look at the most common marital problems faced by married couples and learn how to tackle them before they cause irreparable damage in your relationship.

• Infidelity: This is one of the most common marriage problems in relationships. It includes cheating and having emotional affairs outside marriage. (Hebrew 13:4, Proverbs 6:32)
• Selfishness: Do not think about yourself only and do not be self-centred. You and your spouse have become one flesh, it is no longer me but we. Some persons do things without involving their spouse, they also take decisions and do things as if they are still single and concentrate on themselves only without caring about the other.
• Sexual differences: Physical intimacy is indispensable in a long term relationship but it’s also a common marital problem. Sexual problems can occur in a relationship for several reasons. It could be loss of libido, preference to other sexual things that can make the other spouse uncomfortable.
• Values and beliefs: Certainly, there will be differences and disagreements within a marriage but some differences such as core values and beliefs are too major to ignore. One spouse may have a religion and the other a different belief. This may give rise to emotional difference. Since everyone does not grow up with the same belief system, morals and goals, there will be a lot of room for debate and conflict within the relationship.
• Life stages: Personalities change with time and couples might not remain as compatible as they once might have been. Couples with age difference, who are in different phases of life face this common marriage problem.
• Traumatic situations: For some married couples, traumatic situation become problems because one spouse does not know how to handle the situation at hand. One spouse may not know how to function without the other, sometimes the pressure and responsibility is too much to deal with and these drains the relationship.

• Stress: Stress can be caused by different situations. It can generate from family, finances, job etc. Financial problems can stem from losing their job or being demoted at their job. Stress from family can include children; stress of bringing up children or loss of a child, problems with their family or spouse’s family. Stress is triggered by many different things, how stress is managed matters.
• Boredom: Boredom is an underrated marital problem. Some spouses become bored with their relationship. They may get tired of things that occur within the relationship such as doing the same thing every day for many years without change or a spark. A spark usually consists of doing spontaneous things from time to time. If a relationship lacks spontaneous activities, there is a good chance for boredom to become a problem.
• Jealousy: This is another common problem that causes marriage to turn sour. If you have an overly jealous partner, being with them and around them can become a challenge. Jealousy is good for any relationship to an extent as long as it is not a person being overly jealous. Overly jealous partners can be overbearing; they may ask questions like who are you talking to on the phone? Why are you talking to them? How do you know them? How long have you known them? Etc. Having a spouse that is overly jealous can put a strain on the relationship.
• Trying to change each other: This common relationship problem occurs when couples over step their partner’s personal boundaries in other to mold their beliefs. You should learn to accept each other the way you are. Otherwise, you will be making each other miserable with all of the naggings that go into trying to change a person, it is just not possible.
• Communication problems: The part of communication in marriage is very key, communication lines should always remain open for a successful relationship. Your spouse is not in your heart and cannot read any meaning to the physical reaction you give instead of communicating appropriately. Be transparent with each other in all aspects to avoid any form of misunderstanding.

However, there are warning signs and red flags that could indicate there are serious problems in a marriage. If you find yourself with these signs below, do not ignore them and hope that they will simply go away. They usually do not, they could even get worse.

Instead you need to have an open, honest, and respective talk with your spouse about the problems in your marriage. It can be a difficult conversation to have but it is necessary. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but there are some signs that you will need to look at closely to determine if they are the result of something that is not working well in your marriage.

......to be continued