PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE

It is the desire of many youths and single persons who have the intention of getting married one day to have marital bliss but many of these set of people have forgotten that the quality of your preparation will determine the quality of success you will achieve. 2 Chronicles 27vs6.

It is saddening to see the majority of the youth take extra time to prepare for a wedding; probably they have forgotten that a wedding is a ceremony, a ceremony that will come just on a single day and go. Many put all their energy into preparing for the wedding day without adequate preparation for the marriage. Many youths have forgotten that marriage which is the union; the coming together of two people of the opposite sex, with a view to building a Godly home is very much more important than a day event which is the wedding ceremony.

Adequate preparation for marriage will give you an avenue to settle some crucial matters or issues before venturing into marriage properly. A marriage that you prepared for will allow you to make decisions on the type of home you want to build. (That is, the kind of family structure you want to have), it will help in making decisions like – how many children you are going to have, how to manage the finances in the family, the kind of environment you want to live in, the education of your children, how to grow in your personal profession or ambition, and so many other important issues in marriage.

Marriage preparation comes before the wedding ceremony and its preparation; also preparing for marriage supersedes that of the wedding ceremony, and it should be taken as more crucial than the wedding ceremony.  Preparing for marriage should start long before choosing your marriage partner or before getting to know him or her.

The starting point of adequate preparation for a great marriage is actually during your single years. It begins with self-discovery. It is very important that you discover yourself before you try to discover your spouse; you need to understand yourself, and who you are. This is important because you can only get your own kind.

Another thing you need to do is to always be at your best.  You have to be deliberate in investing into your own life in all areas – Spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, socially, etc. 2 Timothy 2vs15, Proverbs 24vs5, 1 Thessalonians 4vs11. You need this because what makes a difference in every marriage is knowledge. With the knowledge you acquired from books, tapes, and personal studies, you will be able to resist all the temptations that come with marriage.

Prayers and believing in God for guidance is another thing you have to soak yourself with even before you start thinking about choosing your partner in marriage; because prayers to God and God’s guidance will help you in choosing the correct and right partner when it is time. Matthew 7vs7-9, Psalm 37vs4.

How you choose a marriage partner is usually reflective of your level of preparation.  In choosing your spouse, you must ensure that you honor the Lord by choosing within the guidelines of His commands and instructions.  The Holy Spirit has to be your personal friend; your relationship with the Holy Spirit has to be solid before you start thinking of getting married. Building relationships with the Holy Spirit should be part of your preparedness for marriage.  You must pay more attention to spiritual matters.

After you might have worked on yourself which is the first stage of preparing for marriage; the second stage is the attribute you must look for in your spouse or partner.

• Your Spiritual Conviction. 2 Corinthians 6vs14-16.

You must have it at the back of your mind that you are a light and if you choose to work or walk in darkness, it will be a serious issue.  It is critically important that both of you have the same spiritual convictions.

• Emotional Stability.

You need to understand if he or she has a balanced, positive and secure self-image. Does he or she has the ability to adapt and be flexible; is he or she matured or under the remote control of family and friends; how sensitive is he or she to the needs of others, and so on.

• Mental and Physical Fitness.

It is very important that you understand and consider how whom-to-be your spouse reasons, and how objective is he or she in judgment or decision-making.  You have to choose someone that you can appreciate, cherish and you will not be ashamed to present as your spouse to anyone in the future.

• Ability to Compromise. Amos 3vs3

This is very crucial in every marriage because for you to enjoy peace of mind in your marriage, both of you must be able to compromise on different issues. You and your partner must possess the ability to reach an agreement on matters because it will help the growth of your marriage. You must be able to accommodate one another; he or she must be a person whom you can make concessions with.

• Financial Capacity. Ecclesiastes 10vs19, Ecclesiastes 7vs12

The root cause of a larger percentage of broken marriages today is money; that is why it is crucial to discuss and understand the financial capacity and stability of who-to-be your partner.  You have to agree on how the finance in your marriage will be managed before entering into marriage at all.

• Communication and Openness.

You must check out for his or her ability and willingness to communicate. For every marriage that works, communication is one of the tools employed. The person you want to choose as a spouse must be open and willing to communicate on every issue – this is because there will be serious issues but the best way to deal with them all is by discussing them till there will be permanent solutions.

CONCLUSION: In this life, the next most important decision to make after one has decided to give one’s life to Jesus Christ is the decision on marriage or whom to marry.  That is, for those who choose to marry, because how successful your marriage is will determine whether you will fulfill your purpose on earth; and your choice of partner in marriage will determine whether the marriage will be blissful or not but one solution that I have seen so far is, when you walk with the authority of marriage, your marriage cannot crash. Genesis 2vs18, Genesis 2vs21-25.

God is the author of marriage and He will give you the bone of your bones coupled with peace of mind, and because He is involved, you will choose right and enjoy your spouse.  If you have not known the author of marriage, the opportunity is still open; even if you have chosen wrongly – if you invite Him into your life and marriage today, He will help you make the necessary amendments that will put your home (marriage) on the right track.  The first miracle of our Lord Jesus Christ was to provide a solution to a marriage that wanted to start experiencing a problem right from the wedding day. John 2vs1-11.

Is the wine in your marriage been drawn out? Is the pot of wine in your marriage empty? Are you going through difficult times in your marriage? Maybe you are confused about whom to choose as your future partner or you are presently in a relationship with that boy or girl and you are having a feeling that it will be harmful to your future or marriage hence, you are looking for a way out; come to Jesus Christ today, allow Him to come into your heart and tell Him to help you, Matthew 11vs28-30. I am very sure and believe God that when you do, you will find rest for your soul because He will not disappoint you. Cry to Jesus Christ for help like the people in John 2vs1-11 did, and your home will be blissful.